Many hold onto resentment, withholding forgiveness because they doubt the person who caused them pain has genuinely changed (or ever will). Some offenses resonate so deeply that these individuals adamantly believe they could never extend forgiveness. Profound hurts such as betrayal, the agonies of torture, the realities of child abuse, or the tragedy of murder leave lasting scars. As a result, the path to forgiveness can feel challenging.

In Acts chapter six, however, we encounter the powerful story of Stephen and Philip, who were chosen alongside five others to address the needs of Grecian widows in Jerusalem. They exemplified true devotion and were filled with faith, wisdom, and the Holy Spirit. Tragically, Stephen met a brutal end, stoned to death for his unwavering belief in Jesus, with Saul of Tarsus present endorsing the act of violence. As persecution intensified, the disciples scattered, preaching the good news wherever they went. Philip boldly proclaimed Jesus and His Kingdom in Samaria and along the road to Gaza, where he shared the Gospel with the Ethiopian eunuch. Eventually, he settled in Caesarea, raising four prophetic daughters. Consider the striking moment when the Apostle Paul—once the very man who had consented to Stephen’s persecution—stayed with Philip during his travels in Caesarea (Acts 21:8-9). Here was a man who had inflicted tremendous pain, now transformed and striving for righteousness, and Philip welcomed him into his home! Would we have the courage to embrace someone as this? This doesn’t mean we should forgo discernment or wisdom; Paul had spent years proving his profound transformation… But Philip’s decision to extend fellowship and forgiveness to Paul is a profound example of grace and the strength to forgive even those who have deeply hurt us. 

Many have faced far more grievous harm than I have. While I can’t fathom the pain of losing a loved one to murder, I understand the sting of betrayal and deceit. I, too, wrestle with deep scars making forgiveness a formidable challenge. Yet I am also reminded of Jesus—blasphemed, spat upon, tortured, publicly shamed, and crucified, all for my sins! If I can humbly accept that Jesus died for me, and if I can forgive myself, recognizing that both Jesus and His Father are willing to forgive me—despite my repeated failings—then I must summon the strength to delve deep within and forgive those who have wronged me, regardless of the depths of their transgressions (Matt. 6:15).

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 

31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 

32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

~ Ephesians 4:30-32, NKJV

Though not everybody continually struggles with bitterness, there are plenty of warnings against the matter in Scripture. These warnings are not just for people of the world, but, for Christians (Eph. 4:31). Therefore, bitterness must be an issue that some struggle with. It’s also crucial to recognize that even if we don’t feel overwhelmed by bitterness, it can creep in slowly and subtly, impacting our relationships with others and even our relationship with God. It prompts us to ask ourselves: What signs of bitterness might be present in my life, and how can I address them with compassion? The effects can be profound, leading to unfair treatment of those around us and damaging the bonds we hold most dear. 

Bitterness often arises from unforgiveness, and when we allow bitterness to take root, it creates barriers that hinder our spiritual growth, preventing us from experiencing the love, joy, and peace that God desires for every one of us. Unresolved anger is also one of the key elements that can lead to bitterness (Eph. 4:26). This kind of anger often lingers when we don’t take the time to process or address it adequately. Many people, like us, may find themselves replaying past hurts and feelings of injustice, making forgiveness much more difficult. It is also common to feel envious or resentful when we perceive others as happier or more successful than we are (Matt. 6:22-23). This can lead to a cycle of self-criticism and negativity that affects us and those we interact with (James 2:13; 4:7-10).

Maybe you don’t feel like you possess a bitter spirit toward anyone, but I understand that even tiny seeds of resentment can hold us back from experiencing a more profound connection with God and others (Heb. 12:15). The Bible discusses the need to forgive others, emphasizing that our forgiveness of sins from God is closely tied to our willingness to forgive others (Matt. 6:12, 14-15). If someone has hurt us, we should approach them with a desire not just to highlight their wrongs but to seek restoration for both their and our peace (Prov. 28:23; Matt. 18:15-16). As the Apostle Paul instructs, we should strive to live at peace with everyone, recognizing that this is a path toward healing and growth for all involved (Rom. 12:18).

Oh my God, I realize that some matters weigh heavily on people more than others. Although I do not often feel overwhelmed by these struggles, I have noticed times when bitterness has crept into my own heart. Please help me focus on the blessings in my life from You and guide me in processing and dealing with my emotions more healthily. Help me move past the hurt I have experienced from others and grant me the strength not to envy those doing well. I want to continually cultivate a more hopeful attitude regarding my salvation, and also desire to possess a forgiving spirit. Grant me the wisdom, strength, and boldness to address any issues that arise with others openly and sincerely. God, I long for peace with You and harmony with Your people. Help me in ever-experiencing true contentment, oh God! Amen.